Dating Forums

[JustSomeone]

I'm 28 years old and have had a couple of
relationships in my life so far; one was a long time
ago, when I was 18 (it lasted about a year) and the
other was a couple of years ago (it lasted about three
months). Over the past three and a half years I have
dated a lot, mostly online, and have experienced a lot
of frustration. It's all I can do to get to a second
or third date; over all this time I have only kissed a
little (counting the one girlfriend I've gotten out of
all this recent dating--the one from a couple of years
ago), and have had no sexual activity. Needless to
say, I've been very frustrated by the constant failure
I have experienced.

Sometimes I feel so frustrated that I say to myself,
"I'm never going to get married"--but I say it not
despondently, but defiantly, meaning, I refuse to get
married before I have a certain quota of
relationships/sexual activities, and because it's
never happening for me, therefore, I will never get
married. My question is: Is it wrong to want to have
a certain quota like that? I'm just afraid that, if I
get married, "too soon," I'll regret some experiences
I feel I should have had, and missed out on. I always
wanted to have a few meaningful relationships, and a
couple of sexual experiences, before settling down.
But I'm also afraid of being branded a
"commitment-phobe" if, during the course of these
relationships, I express (what I feel is a natural)
desire to have a few experiences before marrying.
Sorry if this all sounds a bit convoluted; in any
case, do you have any advice?


Sincerely,
Frustrated and Exasperated

[Red]

It's okay to have a quota if you have options, but it seems like your not having a lot, so it might be better to really find the good in the people that want to be with you

[JustSomeone]

Thanks for the suggestion; I don't know if I'll have a lot of options in the future, but I'll look for the good in the ones who are interested. Take care.