Dating Forums

[mattjtayl]

am not the biggest fan of dating, I am a computer geek who spends of his time at work and at home doing technical things, however, recently as a favor I was asked to go out with this girl who is so shy.

I am 28 year old teacher, and she is a 23 year old grad student currently living with her parents. She has never dated before in her life! I could not believe this when I met her because I found her attractive, but she is painfully shy.

I admit I have only dated a few girls and only had one steady girlfriend in my life. I am introverted and enjoy spending a lot of time alone. I am not really the dating type, my computers give me company.

She told me she had a potato fetish in the first email she sent me before we met. I was wondering why she would tell me that before we ever met, this gave me the impression she really wanted sex, but after the first date I don't think she plans on having sex anytime in the near future, at least not with me.

I have been giving her hints in emails and phone calls that I want to get close to her but I keep getting the feeling she is not interested in me. I asked if she likes me and she said she did, she just is very shy. She wanted to go on a 2nd date so I assume everything is ok so far, but she wanted to wait a week before the 2nd date. She says she is busy during the week. Why so long? Is this her way of saying she is not interested? But I quess I might be acting selfish, she does have three exams this week, but it would be nice to see her for just a half hour in midweek before the friday night date. Both her and her mother keep telling me she is interested in me so I quess that is a plus.


I went on the date for a favor, her mom works with a relative of mine who asked me if I would take her out, but after I met this girl I really liked her. Going into the date I thought it would be a just-friends meeting and I would be done with it, but after spending sometime with this girl I really like her. We are a like in so many ways and it has been so long since I have been intimate with anyone. She is also very petite I feel a physical attraction to girls who are only 5' or shorter than that.


I found out her mother that she really likes me, but has never ever dated before in her life and is scared to death of me. I don't want a girl to be scared of me , that worries me. I especially don't want to get intimate with a girl that thinks I might harm her, not a situation I feel comfortable with.

Any advice?

[SFguy]

If she's that shy you can't do much about it, she'll open up more but it'll take a long time. You haven't dated much people so you might as well keep dating her, but just relax and take things at her pace and don't rush it.

[mattjtayl]

I was thinking of trying to make her laugh just to make her feel easy and open up. I can be really silly sometimes and immature, but when I am silly, especially when I am drunk, people seem to find me funny. I was thinking of taking her to a serious show and then tickling her all during the show, and then saying "shhh their going to kick us out". I was thinking of pretending to be romantic like opening the door, then racing in front of her and saying"just kidding", but she might find that offensive. When I am with my friends I can act as immature as I like and not worry about rejection, this is different though.

[SFguy]

i wouldn't do the door joke, the tickling is okay

[mattjtayl]

I went out with her again this evening. She is still so quiet and won't open up to me. She let me put her arm around her and start touching her, but she did not want to be kissed. She only wants to date once a week. I don't know she doesn't that enthusiastic about dating me. She wants to go on a third date, but I am afraid it is going to be the same as the first two dates, very little progress.

Its too bad I really like this girl, I am stubborn to give up when I should. She is never going to open to me, I will be 52 before she ever wants to sleep with me.

I think I am just going to start treating her like a friend so I don't have to think about her that much. Maybe I will go on one more date with her maybe we will just be email pals.

[Red]

There's nothing wrong with only going on a date once a week, but if you are looking for something faster then yeah you should just be friends. There ia also nothing wrong with still dating her and then starting dating other people too. It's not like you're in a closed realtaionship.

[mattjtayl]

I think I am just going to treat her like a friend and maybe date a couple other people, or maybe go back to working on my computers. Thanks for all the help.

[sungirl]

Have you talked to her since then?

[mattjtayl]

she broke up with me, I am hurt.

[sungirl]

sorry to hear that, you'll find someone better